The Male Twihard's 'Lessons Learned from Being a (Male) Twi-Hard: A-Z'
I've heard of Ryan McKee, the Male Twihard before, but I realised I've never posted about him at all. After 2 years, he's closing his column on NextMovie, so check out his post on the 'A-Z's of Twilight.
"The Twilight Saga" is coming to an end next month with the final "Breaking Dawn." That means Confessions of a (Male) Twi-Hard will also be ending. Please, stop crying. I know you're all very sad, but we've had a good run. Who knew so many people would be interested in what a thirtysomething, straight, male Twi-Hard would have to write.
This will be my second to last entry. The final one will be after I watch"Breaking Dawn - Part 2." So, as a way to kind of sum up these last two years, I've written my "Twilight" thoughts, lessons and experiences A-Z since starting the column.
I've thought long and hard on this one, and if I could date any vampire, it'd be Alice. One, she can see the future, which would really help with my sports gambling. Two, she's super cute. Ashley Greene is hot, but she never looks as goods as she does with that pixie Alice haircut.
You would think that "Twilight" bloggers are shut-ups who only eat Lipton soup, own 12 cats and cry every night in front of Access Hollywood. However, everyone I've met seems normal, social, has a sense of humor and is (very) willing to talk about other topics besides Team Jacob.
It would have been less awkward to share hot wings and beer with Carlisle Cullen than it was with Peter Facinelli.
This is a key component when attending a Twilight Convention. It makes conversation much easier and the panels much more interesting.
Before I started the column, I wouldn't claim to be planted on either side of Team Jacob or Team Edward. However, the more I thought of it, why would anyone be on Team Jacob when you know he's destined to lose. Plus, he's a 16-year-old boy. Even I'll admit to being an idiot at 16. Edward has the knowledge of living a century.
I still think it's weird that "Twilight" vampires don't have fangs but transfer venom when they bite. Anybody with me?
I don't remember ever thinking about this word before reading it dozens of times in the "Twilight" books. It does seem like something a vampire would do, but c'mon, Stephenie Meyer, crack a thesaurus once in while. That brings me to my next point …